Jamie Hong

My sister is autistic. My brother has ADHD. I am their older sister but no amount of sympathy could make me fully understand how they experience the world. And even today, in an era of supposed acceptance and understanding, stigma surrounding mental illness and disability is still treated as taboo or made into a joke. “Only four percent of the ocean contains salt, yet, it is that four percent that defines the sea”  was an idea introduced to me through a documentary my mother starred in about different immigrant mothers raising neurodivergent children. The quote reflects the reality that society will reduce a child to their diagnosis and overlook them if they do not meet diagnostic thresholds. The film centered on More Than Enough (MTE), a small organization made up of Korean immigrant mothers who could not find a community for their children and so made one themselves. These mothers rotate among themselves to become teachers and prepare a lesson, an activity, and a shared meal once a week to teach life skills and culture. Initially, as a favor to my mother, I began volunteering my time. I spend four hours in a classroom of five students translating, observing and assisting both students and teachers. Lessons move between Korean and English, and I bridge that gap so students can engage with the material. Some require visual instruction, others need precise translation; some seek independence, while others depend on steady reassurance. Learning to recognize these differences, and respond accordingly to each student’s needs, has shaped my understanding of leadership. Once, we sewed dolls as a precursor to mending clothing; when one of the girls began to panic, thinking her mother’s sewing needles were being lost when they were simply being shared, I reassured her that all needles would be returned when the lesson was over but she couldn’t be consoled. I couldn’t pause the rest of the class so I did a roll call of everyone who had borrowed a needle and asked her to keep track of the count. This way she could see for herself that everything was accounted for. My friends often wonder why I reschedule my Saturday evening plans, or why I am always late to plans. My boyfriend wonders why I would rather spend my time in a rented out townhouse party room instead of at the movies with him. The more time I spend with these kids the more I realize how hard they work to keep pace with their peers. What comes naturally to others might not come naturally to them and they try their best regardless of the outcome. I go to MTE to help them understand that effort is never wasted when progress is made. I spend my time with them because, like the ocean, we are all more than the four percent people choose to notice.